I am the bastardized. I disclaim everything and disown everybody I know.
I am the master of disguise and a charlatan. I am the Garage Flower.
This web site leads to extremely explicit material. By continuing
you are agreeing that you are in the age of majority from which you are
viewing such material, that such material is legal in your community, you
are accepting full responsibility for viewing such material, and that you
had froot loops for breakfast. Viewer discretion is advised. All rights
reserved. Action figures sold separately. Batteries not included. Harmful
if swallowed. May cause drowsiness. Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory
animals. Not to be taken with alcohol. Your milage may vary. All stunts
performed by professional drivers; do not attempt yourself. Breaking this
seal constitutes agreement with this license. Void where prohibited by law.
This product is meant for educational
purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely
coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each
check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle
during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied.
Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage
will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer
to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for
some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For
recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age.
If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts
inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without
notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed
in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases
look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors
may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery
when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool. process promptly.
Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time
of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages
resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating
locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for
sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below
this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check
is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin.
Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants
have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer,
call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes
accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location
stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use
only in a well-ventilated are. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with
same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if
tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include
taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for
this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol,
dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package,
not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then
pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some
of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes
only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is
a registeredtrademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No
transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by
weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This article does not reflect
the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my
cat. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved.
You may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from
it. Terms are subject to change without notice. Illustrations are slightly
enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,
is unintentional and purely coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer
under penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not bend,
fold, mutilate, or spindle. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time
only. This article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted.
Caveat emptor. Article is provided "as is" without any warranties.
Reader assumes full responsibility. An equal opportunity article. No shoes,
no shirt, no articles. quantities are limited while supplies last. If any
defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return
to an authorized service center. Read at your own risk. Parental advisory
- explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may
find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight.
Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one-per-family please. No
money down. No purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Some
assembly required. Batteries not included. Instructions are included. Action
figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Slippery when wet. Safety
goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not
read if safety seal is broken. Call before you dig. Not liable for damages
arising from use or misuse. For external use only. If rash, irritation,
redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. Read only with proper
ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place.
Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid
inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees
Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Smoking this
article could be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only
to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or
flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist,
consult a physician. Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children
should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball. Caution: Happy FUn Ball
may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Happy Fun Ball contains a
liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture should not be touched, inhaled,
or looked at. Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete. Discontinute use of
Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs: Itching, Vertigo, Dizziness,
Tingling in extremities, Loss of balance or coordination, Slurred speech,
Temporary blindness, Profuse Sweating, or Heart palpitations. If Happy
Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover
head. Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use,
Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under
refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball,
Wacky Products Incorporated, and it's parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited,
of any and all liability. Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown
glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. Happy
Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being
dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. May cause
any of the aforementioned effects and/or death. Articles are ribbed for
your pleasure. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Offer valid only
at participating sites. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Allow four
to six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 to read. Disclaimer does not cover
misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption,
earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper
reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken
antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic
radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments
that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash,
ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item,
falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile
(which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's,
shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta
and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.).
Other restrictions may apply. This supersedes all previous notices.